Help.
We all need it. We sometimes have difficulty admitting we do.
People we all need them. Sometimes we have difficulty admitting we do.
God we need Him. Sometimes we have difficulty admitting we do.
Life on your own, as independent and adventurous as it may be, it leads to loneliness.
Loneliness reminds you of need. The need for help, relationships, a greater purpose.
Life's big questions of what is most important dictates how you live. The decisions you make.
The minor and major choices daily and overtime.
Consideration of this... takes time, experiences, suffering, happiness, hindsight, advice, lessons.
Simple answers is what we want.
Long suffering is what we need.
There are few things as frustrating to me then ambiguity. We have been in a season of ambiguity. Lots of changes, uncertainties, re-evaluating, lots of grown up conversations. Starting a family definitely doesn't just bring the physical changes, but the spiritual, mental... and priorities definitely change. Choices change.
Most ambiguous of all these days is our faith. Not in a doubting way but in our daily relationship with God. It is no longer eloquent, its no longer pretty. There are no longer tied bows at the end of our prayers.
As our journey with Christ continues we find that we have more questions then answers about what God desires of us and how we live that out.
The church answers don't work for us anymore.
We've watched them fail and hurt people.
The quick answers don't work for us anymore.
We've watched them destroy intimacy and depth in people. Destroy relationship.
We are tired of pretty packaging with bows, we are sick and tired of isolating denominational beliefs and traditions, and those unwilling to negotiate their theologies. Why? Because life is not simple. The Bible is a pretty long and complicated book. And we've personally lived before and are fragile to fall into the pride and routine of having "the right answers" and living in a faith that answers life's messiness by these "right answers", traditions, theologies, and a way of doing things.
We have been refreshed by a community of honest individuals. We have been refreshed by watching a group of people not pretending. Not trying to be perfect, but genuinely passionate about grace. They are short on what they do and long on what God has done for them.
This time of ambiguity and consideration is imperfect. It's had us broken, frustrated, angry. But I have never been so in love with the grace of Christ, because I am in need of it. And I believe I'm beginning to understand how that looks now. No longer trying to live with pretty bows, everything is alright, and right answers. Living in honesty with people who don't ignore their sin, don't pretend they don't have any. They just live. honestly. willing. wanting Jesus' grace to be the change. Love is messy, life is messy and embracing this has never made me feel closer to Jesus. Not trying and letting Jesus- so I can feel when He is genuinely acting on my behalf. When I am quick to forgive, extend grace, love others well, act in humility, have patience, act kindly, am self controlled ... I know It's Him. Its not because of my half-assed attempt to try and be "christian." It's the Holy Spirit on my behalf because of grace and nothing else.
Help. I need it from God. I need it from people.
Long suffering, brings genuine discovery. Genuine Love.
Ambiguity. Unsettling but freeing.
Grace. It's love. The most beautiful, saving thing I've ever experienced.
